When the Fruit of the Spirit Fell on My Head...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." Galatians 5:22-23

I’m angry cleaning one afternoon last summer when it happens - this wake up call from the Holy Spirit (“angry cleaning” is characterized by stomping, vigorous scrubbing, and heavy sighs, if you’re unfamiliar with the term 😉). You see, these framed words below - the literal fruit of the Spirit - fell on my head as I shoved crumpled laundry into one of our age-old dresser drawers. This brought my cleaning frenzy to a halt and me to my knees.

It's the deepest struggle of my motherhood journey: as much as I desire to produce good fruit as a mom and follower of Jesus…I can’t do it. I fall flat on my face again and again - spewing sin and fallen fruit. I can’t escape this reality of the flesh which fights against the Spirit (Galatians 5:17) - sin has this grip on me that’s too strong, too sinister, and it spirals too deep (and as much as I try telling myself, “I’ll be a better mom tomorrow…” it just doesn’t work).

Jesus puts it this way: “Apart from Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5). And although I try to scrape up something good from the depths of my soul - I keep coming up empty. My kids are the victim of this void: the gap between the flesh and the Spirit. The mom I long to be and the mom I really am.

As I face the fallenness of my flesh, I’m frustrated. Confused. How can I possibly live out the fruit of the Spirit in this broken body, confined by sin and shame? I’m undone by this Truth that hits me on the head in the midst of my mess: I cannot live up to this list. It’s utterly impossible.

My head hurts with hopelessness when Paul’s words come to mind: “Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me…What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:21, 24). He continues on in Romans 8:1: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.”

We have this freedom from the flesh and this Spirit who “brings about our adoption to sonship” (Romans 8:15). We are not defined by death or sin - the Spirit turns sinners into sons and daughters. Our situation is not hopeless but rather holy ground for the Spirit to move and plow and produce good things. He brings life from death - sanctifying the entirety of our souls over our lifetime as we submit our ways and wills to Him.

And so I’m still holding my head but my heart feels lighter because, thankfully, we are not commanded to “produce good fruit” but rather to “remain in [Him]” (John 15:5). The fruit of the Spirit is not hidden within us, waiting to be unearthed. It grows only when we hide ourselves in Him - spending time in His presence and steeping ourselves in His Word. The fruit of the Spirit flourishes in the hiding and abiding - not the striving.

And so we are like sunflowers, which follow the sun with their faces throughout the day to soak up as much sunlight as possible, so that they can be as fruitful as possible. In the same way, we turn our faces towards the Son, Jesus, in order to cultivate a place where good fruit can grow. We ourselves do not produce the fruit, but we position ourselves so that the Spirit can saturate the entirety of our beings and lives, and then allow God to grow good things in us. (This sunflower illustration is from this She Reads Truth podcast - not my own. The whole episode was great if you want more on the fruit of the Spirit!).

It’s not my duty to produce the fruit, but rather my delight to bask in the light of the Son.

What could this look like - “turning your face towards the Son”? This might look like waking up before your kids to spend time with Jesus (if they are finally sleeping through the night 🙌🏻). Going on a daily prayer walk. Accepting help with childcare. Taking a weekly nap (because sometimes the most holy thing you can do is take a nap…!!!). Getting yourself in Christian community. Attending church on Sundays. Starting a Bible reading plan. Getting help with a habitual sin. Listening to worship music in the car because if you’re anything like me, buckling kids into car seats sends your blood pressure sky-high. 😂

These days, this fruit of the Spirit sign is hanging in my girls’ room - a sunny yellow backdrop framing this list of all I long to be. Thankfully, it hasn’t fallen on my head again. But it’s this reminder to turn my face towards the Son, and the fruit will come. To be intentional with my days and my gaze - inviting the Son to illuminate every part of my life and heart - and I’m trusting Him for a harvest of good fruit.

My campus pastor, Pete, always referred to his wife, Amy, as “the fruit of the Spirit on legs.” And Amy IS that - loving and patient and kind and all of the things described in Galatians 5:22-23.What if…a few years down the road, your husband referred to you that way? “My wife is so wonderful - she is like the fruit of the Spirit on legs.” What if…when your kids are older (and realize all that you have done for them 🤪), they said: “My mom - she’s amazing. She is basically the fruit of the Spirit on legs.”

I’m praying it over all of us - that He would bring forth an abundance of good fruit in our lives as we remain in Him - that we might grow more and more towards women who look like “the fruit of the Spirit on legs.”

I’ll be sharing a monthly reflection on each fruit of the Spirit over the coming nine months. I’m looking forward to growing with you. 💕